Stepping into the feminine

As a young girl, I envied and looked up to my brother and my adored my dad. There weren’t that many women in my life other than my mom, and I learned how to fit in with the boys. I enjoyed getting dirty, digging holes in the backyard, and building racetracks for our bikes. I loved my mom too, of course, but I was surrounded by a lot of masculine figures. As a child, I remember exclaiming: “I wanted to be born a boy!”

Fast forward.

I’ve come to the realization that I never celebrated my femininity, strength, vulnerability, love, zest — my fearless, wild womanhood.

…of what it means to be a woman beyond what it might mean to be objectified by society, in a female body, or even a mother.

Only recently have I started to see my own patterns of bechdelism, putting men first, falling in line with a culture that puts men above women in such a way that we can scarcely see ourselves.

There is such a power. Such a beauty. An incredible loving, receiving strength to being a woman that exceeds gender roles, expectations, or romantic entanglements. Women are fucking fabulous. And not because we are or need to be princesses or superior somehow. That’s not the point. We’re beautiful as an energetic force. As creators. As nurturers. As leaders.

And I get it now.

I no longer wish to look for a man or men as a proxy for my own worth. I refuse to put friendships secondary or as a substitute to a relationship. I reject the idea that I am supposed to act like a woman in dating situations where I might self express otherwise. I release this oppression.

I promise to look for figures, symbols, and oft forgotten heroines. I will fill my home with this grace and goodness — offering a place and space for these feelings of womanhood to grow and to be nurtured as holistic — not in opposition or comparison, but in celebration of my femininity.

I declare embodiment. I will love my body as a figure of the human experience, as a creator of life, and as a space for love. I will protect myself from harm, including the infliction of feeling like I’m not good enough just as I am, but also recognizing the power and importance of taking care of my body as a form of love.

I yearn to be my body, with the moment, in the present… with the person, emotion, thought, or feeling right in front of me — to fully embrace all that is and the possibility of what could be.

I give myself permission to discontinue relationships that represent “power over” or thrive off of domination, control, or displays of ego. I allow myself to move into a space of meeting and being with someone over being taken or had. I desire to see and be seen.

I release sex being an act and call for having meetings of the soul, body, and mind — not focusing on an end goal, but rather exploring the depth of the experience and embracing the energetic call to do more and be more in all relationships.

I move into a space where I develop a sisterhood amongst my friends, deepen the relationship I have with my mother, with the earth, and with my community. I feel the gravity of true connection with other women. I feel the pull to give myself and those I interact with this awareness in whatever form that may take.

And further, I see how all of our relationships mimic the systems and culture we’ve designed. And I’m determined to unearth that which is, on some level already known, but severely misunderstood.

Please share this this with those who might resonate or feel themselves at the beck of this call to enter and celebrate the feminine ❤

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Chelsea Rustrum is a new economy convener, author, thinker and speaker.